Fruity or Oaky? Rambling Thoughts on White People Problems

A homeless man sleeps in the shadow of corporate America.

My coffee table book is too large for my coffee table.

My Internet connection is too slow.

My dishwasher doesn’t really get the dishes clean.

iPads should have a USB connection.

I can’t remember all of my passwords.

Will Wall Street gambling hurt by 401K’s performance?

My car is annoying. The on-board computer tells me when to add air to the tires, when someone’s seatbelt is undone, and when it needs to go to the shop for service.

I hate it when I find a good recipe on the Internet and then can’t find it again.

Cable TV is too expensive for what your get. NetFlix is the way to go– or just plug the laptop into the flat screen TV.

I give my dog a daily dab of Greek yogurt with her dog food because she farts too much.

Heck with the dog. I’m out of probiotics.

I ran out of dishwasher liquid on Christmas. Why were the grocery stores closed?

I need a bigger hot water heater because I like steamy showers.

Should I add a diamond anniversary band to my wedding set?

Fast food workers should be glad they have a job. Minimum wage is just a starter salary for teenagers.

My smart phone camera doesn’t have a high-enough resolution.

Dry cleaning is a necessary evil.

Why do I have to press “1” for English?

Charter or private school? Public education is a mess.

Email solicitations for donations are annoying.

I have so many device chargers that it’s hard to keep them straight.

Mini-dorms and maxi-dorms are decreasing my property values.

Lugging bottles of filtered water into the house is a hassle. I need purified water from the tap.

Poor people shouldn’t eat fast food. Buying organic is so much better for them.

I make chicken enchiladas with whole wheat tortillas, and I add plain yogurt and nutritional yeast to guacamole. There, I said it.

It’s 6:30 a.m., and my newspaper hasn’t been delivered yet. Where is that guy?

Why should I subsidize Medicaid with my taxes? The government should take care of the poor.

Coconut Minis!

Is seven remote controls too many?

Hot guacamole? Yum, it’s great in a bread bowl. Just remember to stir continuously so it doesn’t scorch when you’re cooking it.

Gentrification? So, what’s wrong with improving the neighborhood?

I support mass transportation. I took the bus twice last year.

A wine refrigerator would be nice.

Salmon or halibut?

Mac or PC?

iPhone or Droid?

Tablet or laptop?

Verizon or Credo?

Fur or fake?

Fruity or oaky?

Whether you call these “white people problems” or “first world problems,” the message is the same. To all of you who are living near the top of Maslow’s hierarchy, don’t forget the people at the bottom who are searching for food and shelter– not the remote control.